And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
