the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
