awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
