I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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