It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
