I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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