She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize