So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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