I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
how drunk are you?
Several
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
