Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
