You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
