I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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