yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
