I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
