maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's just like the Real World with babies
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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