I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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