I got chris browned last night
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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