We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
