Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
