My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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