I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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