We should be called the Road Head Warriors
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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