similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
These tits shall not be calmed
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
