are you so shy because you have an std?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
