This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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