the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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