Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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