I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
