So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dicks are not precious.
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