But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize