Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
