I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
