I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
