so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
