yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
