The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
