Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
