Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
