Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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