you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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