If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
