I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize