So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Quick, to the slutcave!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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