She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
