Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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