you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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