did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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