Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
