Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
someone threw a dead crab at me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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