It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
