Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
