she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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