there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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