normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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