vagina is talking i cant
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
