Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize