He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize