You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It's just like the Real World with babies
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
